So there you are, bored in your every day routine, not knowing what to do next, not knowing if you will ever feel love again, being in love again, get what you really need. You are bored of life, bored of a predefined future, bored of expectations and thinking how nice it would be to be travelling in these faraway places where I am right now.
Next door, there is a wedding. The music is loud and nothing is happening. That’s the second wedding that I witness in two weeks. Nobody is dancing; everyone looks bored, waiting for the food before going back home. I got in just for a few minutes. I am curious. Two young men came to me right away and asked me to leave immediately. I was not invited. Meanwhile in the hostel where I stay, everyone is ready to go to sleep. It’s very early but they all had too much wine while watching a soccer game of the world cup. Nothing is happening here. I am bored, as bored as you might be there.
It’s too cold in this south corner of Bolivia so I decide to look for a warmer place. I end up in Santa Cruz again. Here it’s burning hot and dusty. This is a very large city. It feels like half of Bolivia is living here. I am in a cheap hostel downtown. It’s so noisy that I bought some stuffs to put in my ears. The room is simply horrible. I wonder why they don’t even bother painting the walls. The shared bathroom is not worth describing, enough to say that one would prefer not having to use it. It’s early in the evening, I am tired and I don’t feel like going out. What’s the point of going to have a drink or going to a nightclub? It feels like watching the same clip again and again. I would rather stay in my room and read a good book. But it’s so noisy that I can hardly focus on the text. I put my ear taps but they hardly filter the noise. On one side, they are watching TV. On the other side, they are listening to music. They must all be deaf. The music in the room is so loud that the walls vibrate. After an hour I feel so tired that I finally fall asleep, but I wake up constantly. Some people come and go and speak so loud across my door that it feels like they are sharing my bed. In the morning, I am so tired that I wonder if I did sleep at all. Even paying more for a better room would not change the intensity of the noise.
Yes, it’s nice to be traveling, but not for the people, at least not for the city people. At time, people in the countryside are very nice but a lot of them drink a lot nowadays and it’s getting worth. I mainly love traveling because I can see amazing places. Nature is absolutely wonderful. Seeing people with their different ways of doing things also allows me to question my own ways and to be more in harmony with who I am rather that who I have been taught to be. But in reality, people are just people, surviving, struggling and bored as much as you are.
I stopped expecting anything from anyone a long time ago, or depending on anyone. At first, I was looking at others to inspire me and then I realized that, being a very positive and generous person, I was the one inspiring, motivating and bringing new hopes to others. Meanwhile, I was ending the day in my room, alone, often bored with no one to inspire me or motivate me.
If you are there, in your little corner of the world, bored and hopeless, know that most of the people on this rock lost in space feel the same. If you want to get out of it and see the light, be aware that only you can do it on your own. Because, at the end of the day, we are all the same, one of many, all being another expression of the same.